David Matthew Hargrave

David Matthew Hargrave, 54, of Fairfax, VA, son, father, uncle, and friend to many, died on Wednesday, May 8, 2024, at Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Baltimore, MD, of a heart attack. Orphaned as an infant in Seoul, Korea, David was adopted as a young child by Irvin and Rosemarie Hargrave and came to the US to live in Freeport, NY, on October 12, 1971. He was beloved by his new family.

David grew up in Simsbury, CT, and graduated from Simsbury High School in 1988. As a child he loved to “go fast,” and would entertain extended family members and friends by flying down the street at breakneck speed in his Cheetah scooter, always ending with a dramatic spinning skid. He excelled in all sports as a youth and remarkably once ran more than half the length of the football field in one shoe, to score a touchdown for his high school football team. David joined the US Navy in 1988 and served in active duty as Petty Officer Third Class on the USS Kidd in the Persian Gulf during Operation Desert Storm.

After being honorably discharged from the Navy, David worked in the moving industry, and was a crew leader and a CDL-licensed driver. He found his true passion later in life, when he returned to school at The Omaha School of Massage Therapy in Omaha, NE. He became a certified and licensed massage therapist in 2011, and was named student of the year for his graduating class.

David loved animals. As a teenager he saved a kitten from an abusive owner, had many pet cats during his lifetime, and was a shelter volunteer. He loved good food and was often teased by the family for his heaping dinner plates — especially on Thanksgiving, his favorite holiday. 

In 2000, he married Hyewon Cho, celebrating with two weddings, an American ceremony in Connecticut and a traditional Korean ceremony with her family in Korea. In 2003, he was thrilled to become a dad to his beloved son Matthew. 

Through much of his life, however, David struggled with ADD and depression, which was challenging for those who loved him. Despite the many obstacles he experienced, his outlook always remained positive, and he continued to be kind and compassionate toward others. His life was an accumulation of small acts of kindness and generosity.

He never hesitated to offer his time, energy, or ideas to help another human or animal in need. His ability to connect effortlessly with others and his intuitive skills as a massage therapist made him very popular among his clients—and he had many! He poured his heart into mastering techniques that would alleviate the pains experienced by others, often sacrificing his own physical health in service of others. Though he may have felt that a “dark cloud” followed him in this life, he was, himself, the ray of sunlight to many. We take comfort in knowing he is now at peace. In keeping with his generous spirit, David was an organ donor, and was able to pass on the gift of life and health to many people after his death.

Besides his wife, Hyewon, he is survived by his son, Matthew I. Hargrave of Fairfax, his mother, Rosemarie Hargrave of Simsbury, CT, sister Laurie Miller and husband Al of Simsbury, CT, sister Peg Berry and husband Dave of Canton, CT, brother Phil Hargrave of Windsor, CT, and many nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by his father Irvin P.H. Hargrave, Jr., sister-in-law Sandra Hargrave, and his beloved brother-in-law, Robert “Rummy” Rumrill.

There will be a funeral mass on Friday, May 17, 2024, at 10:30 a.m. at the Holy Korean Martyrs Catholic Church, 5801 Security Blvd., Gwynn Oak, MD, and a celebration of his life on Friday, June 21, 2024 at 1:00 PM at the Old Well Tavern, Simsbury, Connecticut. In lieu of flowers, donations in David’s name can be made to Disabled American Veterans (DAV.org) or the Connecticut Cat Connection (CTCatConnection.org).

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